We’ve moved. We are now officially out of the Cardiac ICU and in the Cardiac Step Down unit. I truly expected the move to be a lengthy process filled with lots of discussion with docs, fellows, nurses, specialists and the like…boy was I wrong. One minute we are in the CICU discussing swallow studies and O2 levels with the attending cardiologist, the next minute our nurse is placing my bags on the shelf under the crib while another nurse pulls out Aaric’s IJ and central lines. A pulmonary specialist comes over and turns down the oxygen going through Aaric’s nose cannula, makes a contented humpf, and then removes the cannula altogether. Ten minutes later we are rolling through the double doors at the back end of our pod and into a step down room. Done.
We are now literally about 50 feet from Aaric’s previous location but in a totally different world. Here’s a pic from outside of our stepdown room back into the CICU (the red stripes on the floor is where CICU starts).
Oh so close to CICU but oh so very far. Gone are the days where we have to buzz in at the door and are only allowed to have 2 visitors present at a time, where Aaric resides in what I can on describe as a parking space with curtains that act as substituteor and wait for the receptionist to verify our identity, where we have to wash our hands every single time we enter the unit to visit Aaric, where we are only allowed to have where we are only allowed to have 2 visitors present at a time, where Aaric resides in what I can only describe as a parking space with curtains that act as substitutes for walls and doors, where there is a nurse assigned to sit at his bedside 24 hours a day, where doctors, specialists, and surgeons routinely come by on an hourly basis, where you are never more then 10 seconds from a crash cart, and where we watch other families ride the roller coaster of emotions that comes with having a very sick child whose fate is not entirely clear.
We are very excited to finally be here, to finally be able to hold our little guy without the tangle of wires which stopped us before, and to know that he is well enough to no longer be considered critical. Now we battle with our minds. I’m sitting here in Aaric’s new room glancing between the computer screen and his vitals monitor – every dip in heart rate or respiratory rate sends my heart nearly bouncing out of my chest. There’s a nurses station down the hall but without a nurse sitting right next to his bed to reassure me that everything is fine I keep imagining the worst – that things will fall apart a second time. I know it will pass but for tonight I sit and watch the monitor…